Letting Go of Family Patterns...
Sometimes we learn things when we grow up that are really important to survive. Our families all have rules, norms, guidelines, and expectations. As we are being raised whatever we start with, it feels like everyone must be like our family. In reality, families are all very different.
Working with couples, this issue almost always comes up. We make assumptions about our partner based on our history, based on the history we grew up with. And, often, this is completely subconscious... We don't even know it is an assumption- because it is just so TRUE for us.
Someone shared a wonderful affirmation this week that talks about letting go of some of these old assumptions. It is from the perspective of a person who grew up in a dysfunctional or abusive family life, but I also think it could be modified to work for most people's lives.
This is from the book Affirmations for the Inner Child:
Coming of age means losing my innocence. I must release my innocence as a necessary part of my growth. By doing so I do not lose my goodness or my idealism. Both my goodness and idealism are rooted in wisdom.
I may mourn the loss of innocence but my deepest sorrow comes from the fact my innocence was betrayed. I grew up in a family system ruled by the effects of compulsive or abusive behavior. I accepted those rules in innocence. I granted their importance out of my inherent love and trust for my parents. Today, if the time is right, I will honor my innocence by releasing it. My innocence served my inner child until my knowledge and judgement could protect us both. As I release my innocence, I accept my wisdom.
I hope this is inspiring to someone. And, if you need support- give us a call! Two of our counselors have openings currently. We are ready and willing to help!