In fact, in some situations, it is normal to feel REALLY out of sorts. I talk with people frequently who are panicked because they fear something is wrong with them. When they find out that the response that feels "odd" or "wrong" or "crazy" to them is actually normal, healthy, acceptable, or to be expected in response to what is happening they have a big sigh of relief. 

That's right... they feel relieved, in other words, they feel LESS anxious when they know it is normal to be anxious! Isn't that amazing? Here are a few tidbits about anxiety that might be helpful: 

• The more you fear anxiety, the more anxious you will be (it is called anticipatory anxiety).
• In some cases anxiety is good! 
• Anxiety rarely kills anybody.
• Learning additional skills about managing anxiety does NOT make you crazy! 
• Some times big stuff happens, it is normal to have a big emotional response (or even a numb response).
• If your anxiety is keeping you up at night, changing your eating patterns, or breaking your concentration at work- check out the anxiety page- or give us a call to teach you some new tools for these new things that have been happening. 

Hope you are out enjoying this beautiful day in Modesto, CA! I sure am! 

I have a confession... I am a bit of a geek. No, not that geek that spends hours playing video games or instant messaging on Facebook... more the kind of a geek that just LOVES to find a fabulous piece of software or a website that makes my life easier. 

I just started using a silly website www.pinterest.com that they call an online bulletin board. I am not sure that I would call it that- but ever the counselor- I have noticed some things since starting to play with this new site- I thought y'all might be interested in knowing what I learned about myself. And, I think many of these "epiphanies" or things others can relate to. 

1. I don't always know myself as well as I think I know myself. 

All of us are looking from our unique perspective. We have all had people either get us completely wrong because their perspective was warped. We have also had other people who had a vantage point that allowed them to be "right on" and give us some important insights that we couldn't see from the inside. 

Posting things I like to bulletin boards has been helpful in defining some of my preferences. Of course, in this case it is more about design, color, and home organization- but those things count. 

2. Sometimes visuals help! 

I have a tendency to be very word and language oriented. While I do often draw in counseling, you will notice that most of my blog posts are completely text based. I haven't used tumblr, don't keep notebooks or scrapbooks... and so I often think of myself as less visual. 

However, I have found that I am actually incredibly visual- I am also just not a fan of busywork! Pinterest has made it so easy for me to be "visual," organize, and reference things- it just fits for the way I happen to think. 

3. One way of thinking isn't necessarily better or worse. 

I have a confession for you... I HATE filing... yep I said it... filing makes my brain go numb... and NOT in a good way! There are many reasons why I have a paperless office (safety, security, readability, time savings, convenience for clients) but one huge reason is VERY LITTLE filing! 

This also pertains to trying to organize bookmarks of sites on the Internet that I find useful for clients, organizing books, or putting ideas together into some fashion that I can actually reference information later. 

Pinterest just seems to "fit" my way of thinking. So, I come up with some file names (boards), and then simply "pin" ideas, references, and links to that board... And, when I go back to: organize my office, plan a workshop talk, etc. there is this beautiful group of visuals that each links to the information that I considered referencing. I can easily delete or narrow down my focus after I have all of the best ideas saved in one place. 

So... what do I think that people can take from Pinterest when it comes to mental health: 

1. We are all on a constant journey of self-discovery. Having a way to notice and become more aware of ourselves is a powerful tool. Whether it is counseling, a great book, or an online pinboard. 

2. Find what works best for YOU! This is one of my favorite things! So many people are trying to make things work for them that just don't. You don't have to give up self-improvement, or shove yourself into a box that fits. Sometimes there is a simple little adjustment that can make all the difference in the world. 

3. Others are often on similar journeys. There is nothing more fun on Pinterest than connecting in with another board where you think "great minds think alike!" It is amazing to find that someone else has already done some great work in putting things together 

So, with that in mind... I am starting a "professional" page on Pinterest... where I will be posting some fun awesome links to DIY self-care, fun, quotes, and things that inspire me (and maybe you) to wellness. If you happen to be a Pinterest fan- feel free to look me up: http://pinterest.com/helpinmodesto/

It is the end of the year and the weight loss commercials and dating website advertisements are in full force. We often start to think of what we want to change about ourselves. I find we start to dream a little – which is something I think we should do often, not just for the beginning of the year.  One of my favorite things to do is to set my intention for the year. I don’t make resolutions. I put out there things I want for myself, my life and my family. I think big picture and I don't get to rigid with numbers and facts. So here are some tips when setting intentions for the year or even for everyday:

• ·      Follow your heart – or your gut (something I think that are very connected) Don’t put your energy and hope into something you don’t believe in. Really, just because you ended up divorced and everyone is trying to hook you up with the next person, doesn’t mean you should do it. Trust your own intuition in knowing what is right for you. Intentions that bring forth fruit in your life do not come out of a place of pleasing other peoples dreams for your life.

Read more...

So, here are my top tips for making real, lasting change! Be sure to read to the bottom and find out how you could win a FREE 30 minute reflexology massage- yay! 

Top tips for making real, lasting change: 

1. Keep it simple- do NOT do everything at once. Focus on one simple change and fully commit yourself to it. 
2. Commit to change- what does committment mean? It means putting your mind and focus on making a change that fully aligns with who you choose to be. It means when something threatens to pull you in another direction away from who *you CHOOSE to be*, you notice that pull, take a deep breath, and continue in the direction towards YOU! 
3. Yes, breath! Change is HARD, and STRESSFUL! Good change can actually make your body anxious and panicked! Anybody else ever felt panicked when thinking about saying no to a donut? I have... and guess what- I'm not that big of a fan of donuts! Breathing is the first step in letting your body know that it is ok to begin to relax!
4. Relax! Notice this is in bold... twice! Panic and anxiety are a sign that are body is in fight or flight mode... or survivor mode. What do we do in survival mode? Whatever we need to do to get out of the panic! We do whatever it is we have already done! We do whatever feels the most safe and comfortable! So find out what helps you to relax- here are links to a ton of FREE relaxation options. You are not on your own- there are resources out there! 
5. Connect with great resources- yep- here comes a little plug for the benefits of counseling or therapy- you may need someone who has expertise in a certain subject to help! Whether that means scheduling an appointment with a counselor, a professional organizer, or a personal trainer, or just finding some cool FREE resources on the Internet. Reach out, get connected, and HAVE some FUN! Maybe look at this like a fun little treasure hunt! 

So, I'm keeping it simple- those are my top 5 tips for making change. Now, I'm sure you are ready to find out how you could get some FREE relaxation! Simply post a comment below sharing one thing you have done to make LASTING change in your life. But, there is one rule- keep it LIGHT people. This is not a request for you to bare your soul and trauma on the Internet! I want strategies you have used to keep your closet clean, clean up the potty mouth, get more physical activity, or have more fun on a daily basis! You can post them below and we'll announce a winner at the end of January! 

(Reflexology appointment compliments of Kyle Ling, certified neuro-reflex therapist with offices in Modesto and Turlock. 

Oh- and check out the free online scheduling option we have now! How cool is that? 

Make a list of the things in your life that you are grateful for. Big, small, medium- doesn't matter. 

Notice how you feel after making your list! This can also be a fun, holiday tradition. Start a gratitude jar and put some small pieces of paper next to it. Simply write down what you feel grateful or joyous about as it happens. When you are feeling bummed out, take one thing out of the jar! 

Hope this quick tip for holiday stress helps you enjoy this busy time of year a bit more! 

"She was doing it in the memory of her husband who had just died, and she said she wasn't going to be able to spend it and wanted to make people happy with it,"

The truth is, the holidays are not merry and cheery for everybody. In fact, while this could have been simply a joyous, generous act- this could also be symptoms of a suicidal woman ready to kill herself to be with her husband. People do sometimes give away all of their belongings before killing themselves because the won't "be able to spend it." 

The perils of this job! I see the possiblity that this woman is in extreme pain after losing her partner before the holidays. 

If this Christmas is joyous for you- go out and be generous! If you are in pain, you aren't alone. There are a lot of people who understand what you are going through and the extra grief that can be piled high at holiday time. We are to help, or even to point you in the right direction. 

Here is hope you have a Merry Christmas... or someone to talk to if this Christmas isn't so merry for you. 

In fact, you might have heard (or said) things like: 

I (Miranda) love hearing a person's voice change from surprise/panic that I actually answered the phone- to a sense of relief and hope as they get their questions answered and start making a plan to feel better! 

We also know that while some people are looking for traditional therapy, others are really just looking to get some questions answered and get some suggestions so they can move on with life! 

The expansion of Counseling Modesto allows us to offer some expanded services- and emergency, extended consultations are one of them! You will be able to schedule an extended, 1-hour consultation session with a licensed therapist where you can get immediate support and encouragement. We are especially excited to offer this over the holiday season when sometimes family fun can get stressful! 

So, click on Book Now, select phone crisis counseling and select our next available appointment. Phone sessions do require pre-payment (we don't want to be hanging out all alone by the phone!) 

And, as always, feel free to give us a ring for your free 15 minute phone consultation or schedule a traditional, in person counseling session. We would love to hear from you! 

I'm excited to welcome Cheryl Fink to the Counseling Modesto team! While Cheryl might be new to you- she and I actually worked together off and on for several years.

While each of us have our strengths and differences- there are a few things we have in common:

We believe in healing! We aren't here to just get a paycheck- we both believe in helping you find your unique path to healing!

We believe in joy and laughter. We are serious, this can be difficult work- we will cry with you, challenge you, and even laugh with you.

We love working with people who have been through terrible experiences. Death, murder, sexual assault, horrible relationships- we are both well equipped to help you heal!!

How are we different? Cheryl has some additional expertise in infant loss and stillbirth.

I do EMDR and Cheryl does not (yet) :)

I am also a lot taller than her!

Cheryl is currently taking evening appointments (my nights are booked).

Feel free to give us a call at 209 602 1513 for your free 15 minute phone consultation to find out who is the best fit for you and start feeling better today!!

Stock in alcohol companies is on the rise! Why? Because people are trying to cope with the stress! While a glass of wine might be a healthy option for some- I wanted to take a moment to share some other stress reduction techniques that might help you de-stress and protect your wallet and your waistline through the holidays! 

These are just a few resources taken from my "anxiety" page- there are tons of resources out there to help you de-stress and feel better! 

Here is a recording I made that helps many people feel more relaxed after listening. It takes less than 10 minutes and you can have it for free! If you like it, make it a regular part of your day or week. The more you practice relaxation- the better you will get at it. (You've been practicing being stressed and anxious for a while-look how good you have gotten at doing that!) You can download your "Relax" recording here. 

Kaiser has also put together a great list of relaxation recordings for the community. They have recordings specific to panic attacks and anxiety. They also have recordings on things like anger, forgiveness, stress, relaxation, weight loss, and other things that can be related to anxiety.You can access all of these recordings here. 

Here is another link to free MP3s about relaxation and lowering anxiety: http://energyandintention.com/freeresources.htm

Here is a great article about stress and anxiety that integrates practical tools and explains well how our thoughts can exaccerbate our anxiety level. Check it out here. 

Hope these are helpful today in helping you feel better. Don't love them? No problem- keep searching- find something that works for YOU (oh and that is healthy!)